Username Of The Writer: Troy10
I had a very difficult life. I was molested by my father and sexually abused for more than twenty years of my childhood. My parents were alcoholics and drug addicts; we lived in abject poverty; we always lacked the basic necessities of life like food, clean water, clothes to wear to school. We are seven kids in our family and every child had a different parent. In my case, I was born from a single parent mother who remarried four times – each husband brought more pain into our lives. I felt that I can never be loved.
I tried to commit suicide twice, the first one when I was fourteen, and the second time at age twenty five. I survived both of them, but had strong suicidal tendencies even until now at the age of thirty eight.
My life was a living hell, but there was also bliss in it. My siblings are really good people; I went through my life with them supporting me unconditionally till this day. We are best friends forever and stay together whenever we can.
My siblings and I used to go to church every Sunday with my mother, despite the fact that she didn’t really believe in God. Nevertheless, this was our tradition since we were children. The only thing kept me going during those challenges was the idea of heaven; if there is no afterlife, it would mean all life is meaningless, indeed a living hell. I clung to the idea of heaven because it gave me hope that there is something different after death. The only question was how do I get there?
I tried everything out there to try and change my life for the better, but nothing worked. My behavior pattern was destructive – drugs, drinking, casual sex, bad temper, stealing money from my family’s purse to get drunk. Nothing changed – this was the only life I knew.
As I grew older and wiser, nothing worked out for me either. I tried to change my life by working hard in school, but it didn’t work; every time I made progress something always went wrong.
I truly believed if there is a God, he must be disappointed at me and I would never go to heaven anyway so why even bother trying? Nevertheless, after all the horrible things that happened in my life, not once did I lose faith. Perhaps it was all part of some divine plan – who knows?
One day, I went to church with my siblings, but this time our pastor wasn’t there. The substitute person happened to be a woman who was new to the church. We were told that she used to be a nun of some sort before becoming a full-time minister – she started her own ministry. She has helped many teens and people of all sorts who had similar problems like me. I felt she was able to see my pain; she showed compassion when she was speaking to us.
The next Sunday, the pastor wasn’t there again so we covered for her once more. Apparently, this special person went somewhere else on Sundays to minister to other people who needed help in their lives. We heard encouragement from her, and she shared that God is always with us.
There was something different about this lady; we felt it during our conversations. We had a gut feeling we can trust her – my siblings and I talked to one another, and we all agreed this person must be sent from heaven. Our mother also believed her words of encouragement — we felt that she was really listening to us and that she really cared.
A few days passed, and we still went back to church because we missed her presence. One Sunday, she invited me to go with her somewhere else – she said it’s a different place where there are teenagers like me who need help. She told us this place is not like a church; the people there don’t believe in God.
I was confused, but she assured me it’s okay, that I would be fine there. She said everyone needs help sometimes and that God understands us better than we do. She told us this place is heaven on earth (that all places are heaven when you place love in your heart).
I trusted this person; I felt like she was sent from heaven to help me. My siblings and I were with her that day, but declined when we were asked to go again because we couldn’t make it every week (it was a weekend thing). The pastor gave us hope while the nun who went there gave us something to look forward to.
I was glad because I felt like there is hope for me after all; the only issue was what do I need to do to enter this place? It wasn’t about God. This place brought back my faith in people, just not necessarily in God. There’s too much pain and frustration in life to even bother thinking about God.
I just wanted to be happy again, to have the love that was taken away from me as a child. So, I decided to give this place a try one day. One Sunday I went with my siblings since our mother said it would be fine for us to go without her – she believed in this place as well.
As we entered, it wasn’t like a church at all; there were no pews and the altar was only an open space where everyone can sit in circles on cushions. Everyone who went there sat in circles and talked about their lives — these people didn’t know each other and yet they shared with one another and listened intently.
I thought to myself, why not share my own problem with them? I wanted to get better; I wanted to be healed.
One by one, the people shared their stories and what they were going through in life; everyone listened intently even though they didn’t know each other – it was like they did know each other.
That’s when I realized it wasn’t about God or religion; all of us were there for each other – we didn’t care who you are, what you look like, where you came from. We just wanted to listen and help one another heal our pains and struggles in life.
It was a good feeling to share with others about myself and my struggles knowing they would not judge me. I didn’t tell them that God sent me to this place or that I was a Christian – what mattered the most is that we were there for each other as human beings with good hearts.
I believe God works through people who have faith in him as well as those who don’t- it’s not up to us to judge, but to simply see the beauty in one another.
This experience let me know that miracles do happen; I witnessed one myself. So, I am sharing this story with you in hope that you can also believe in God’s love and miracles because they are real. We may not understand them, but it is good to have faith – even if it takes time to reveal itself.
Thank you very much Troy for sharing your testimony and Miracle.
The “Miracle” is love; for God is love. He love us so much that he sent his son to pay the price for our sins. Jesus was perfect and we see how he was beaten to death, and yet he loved us enough to die for us. He died so that one day we may live with him. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I am so thankful for God’s unconditional love and those who share there stores on this unique website. Please share with others, there are many people who need to understand that God is love, that he is indeed real. You may want to check out the article below, “THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT GOD IS REAL!”.
May God Be With You Always;
John 3:16-17 (KJV)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
Please Pray Always!